Is it a sin to ask God to kill me? I dislike life.

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God gave you your life and He has a purpose for every child He created. He gave you life and He alone has the right to take it from you. There can be times of difficulty and you can honestly say your feelings to God. He understands.

In the Bible, Elijah faced the same.

19 And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and withal how he had slain all the prophets with the sword.

2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow about this time.

3 And when he saw that, he arose, and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which belongeth to Judah, and left his servant there.

4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

5 And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.

6 And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.

7 And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.

8 And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God.

9 And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?

10 And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lordwas not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lordwas not in the earthquake:

12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. – Revelation 4:11

One of the purpose as a child of God would be to know God and His love towards us.

God has a plan for each of us which is before ordained by God Himself.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. – Philippians 2:13

God has a purpose for each of us. He will direct you through different circumstances in life if you do desire to fulfill God’s purpose in life. God doesn’t make mistakes. He changed the crucifixion of Jesus to the salvation of mankind. We can trust God.

God loves us, he is our creator and our Father. – Its a fact and it doesn’t change on whether we feel or not.

and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. – John 17:23

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

From Streams in the desert devotional

I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content (Philippians 4:11).

Paul, denied of every comfort, wrote the above words in his dungeon.

A story is told of a king who went into his garden one morning, and found everything withered and dying. He asked the oak that stood near the gate what the trouble was. He found it was sick of life and determined to die because it was not tall and beautiful like the pine. The pine was all out of heart because it could not bear grapes, like the vine. The vine was going to throw its life away because it could not stand erect and have as fine fruit as the peach tree. The geranium was fretting because it was not tall and fragrant like the lilac.

And so on all through the garden. Coming to a heart’s-ease, he found its bright face lifted as cheery as ever. “Well, heart’s-ease, I’m glad, amidst all this discouragement, to find one brave little flower. You do not seem to be the least disheartened.” “No, I am not of much account, but I thought that if you wanted an oak, or a pine, or a peach tree, or a lilac, you would have planted one; but as I knew you wanted a heart’s-ease, I am determined to be the best little heart’s-ease that I can.”

Others may do a greater work,
But you have your part to do;
And no one in all God’s heritage
Can do it so well as you.

They who are God’s without reserve, are in every state content; for they will only what He wills, and desire to do for Him whatever He desires them to do; they strip themselves of everything, and in this nakedness find all things restored an hundredfold.

Psalm 139

139 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

How can I come to God?

First of all, we can’t come to God directly. Just think about the head of our country. Can we just go and meet them? We can meet them if we have an invitation. God is the supreme most power and the highest in authority in the whole universe. We can come to God only in His own terms, not ours.

God reveals of Himself as – of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity – Habakkuk 1:13

No one with iniquity or sin can come to His presence. We can come to God after being cleansed from our sins. We cannot cleanse ourselves from our sins.

God sent His ONLY begotten son Jesus Christ into this world so that ANYONE who believes in Him should not perish, but should receive everlasting life. If ANYONE believes in JESUS and repents of their own sins and asks JESUS to forgive their sins; He being God himself, has the power to forgive sins. Only the true God can forgive the sins of mankind. Jesus being God who came to earth in the form of human alone has the power to forgive our sins.

Be truthful to yourself and do repent of your sins. Pray to Jesus. He knows our heart.

He has promised in His word – in the Holy bible. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

For it is not possible that the blood of goats and bulls should take away sins.

Without shedding of blood, there is no remission of sin. In JESUS alone, we have redemption from our sins through His blood shed on the cross, and the forgiveness of sins and complete freedom from sin’s bondage on us.

With repentance tell all your sins to Jesus. Jesus understands all your needs. He will forgive and all your sins will be cleansed. You will receive eternal life and you can be assured that you are in the right way to heaven.

JESUS – the meaning of the name is – the one who saves the people from their sins.

The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:7-9

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name – John 1:12

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God – Romans 8:15,16

When your sins are cleansed, you become a child of God and then you can come to God, our Heavenly Father.

If you are sincere to know if there is a real God, pray if there is a true real God to reveal Himself to you. God Himself has promised – Jeremiah 29:13

13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

If interested, read the Bible with an open mind praying to the true God to reveal Himself to you. You can start with the new testament, Gospel of MARK and then Gospel of John and then the other books of the New Testament.

Let the true God, if it be Jesus or Allah or any other God, let the true God reveal Himself to you!

I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins. – John 8:24

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. – Acts 4:12

In my case, I realised Jesus is really God and He is whom He says to be.

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